Cloudscape

The goal is always love. You can either search that which you love, or love that which you find. If there is nothing left which you love, for instance if everything causes you suffering, you have no more choice than to try to love that which you find, even if everything you can find brings you suffering. If you are suffering, it is not enough to accept your suffering: you must love it, especially if there is no longer anything else than suffering.

In a person who is bipolar, hypomania and depression both have the same cause and cause one another. Bipolarity is usually caused by with an increased sensitivity in some form or other, though increased sensitivity does not necessarily lead to bipolarity. As such, the bipolar cycle is merely an exaggeration of a normal person's emotional cycle between normal sadness and normal happiness.
However, at the same time, hypomania may cause depression and the other way around, as yin and yang usually do, much like the crests and troughs of the waves. For one thing, hypomania may lead to denial of problems. In particular, hypomania may cause an overconfidence which leads to an indifference with regards to negative emotion, so that these become repressed. When these become too obvious to still be denied, they at once come to the surface and may thus trigger a depression.
At this point, the hypomania may either gradually turn into a depression, or it may first turn into a mixed state: a nervous state of feverish excitement. The latter happens if the bipolar person still tries to retain his or her elevated level of energy despite the agitation, but this eventually becomes to painful, and he or she finally gives up to end up in a full-blown depression.
On the other hand, depression may then pave the way for a new hypomanic episode in a bipolar person. The withdrawal caused by depression gives one time to contemplate what one wants to change in one's life, so that, when one endeavors to achieve these changes, one's quality of life may improve. At the same time, one may become used to dealing with negative emotions.
Bipolar people often learn to objectivize their emotions because they are so changeable, thus making it clear to them that everything is highly relative. Realizing this, people with bipolar depression may be more likely in a depressive episode to work about their condition than someone with unipolar depression, knowing that a hypomanic episode may come afterwards which may be worthwhile.
Either how, depression may paradoxically improve one's outlook on life in anyone. It puts one before the choice between suicide, suffering or self-improvement. Eventually, if given enough time, one either chooses for suicide or self-improvement. One becomes forced to become more conscious and more constructive in one's thoughts and actions.
Moreover, depression creates an emptiness which forces one to detach from things one formerly took for granted, so that one is reminded of their value, and later becomes more capable of appreciating them and being thankful for their existence. In major depressive episodes, it may be that one has to let go of absolutely everything one ever enjoyed, simply because one has lost every bit of enjoyment of it. But only once you've let go of something can you be mindful of what it means to you. Becoming depressed and then recovering is like dying and then being reborn again.
Bipolar disorder is common among artists not only because artists are often more intense people, but also because art can be a way of dealing with emotions. In addition, however, their emotions may depend strongly on their art, especially because artists often have less social contact then other people. At the same time, their art depends strongly on their emotions. This codependence may spiral in turns into a depressive and a hypomanic episode.

Worries are often the result of indecision. We worry about things if we aren't sure what to do about them, or even what to think about them. In fact, worrying is basically about making decisions: the mind recognizes a problem and debates what to do about.

When we think of doing something but dither about what we should do, or if we should really do anything at all, this vacillation may resound in our minds for some time, and for some people longer than for others; at first, consciously; then, when our minds are distracted by other matters, this may go on on a subconscious level. When this happens, we may have the feeling that we have forgotten something we need to do. The feeling that something needs to change leads to unrest. We have a nagging feeling without knowing just why.

At this point, we may struggle, perhaps without being fully aware of it, to remember what it was we still needed to decide about, sometimes to such extent that it causes us to forget to enjoy. We know not what to think about, but we know that we should be thinking about something, a matter which still needed to be settled upon. Since we forgot what it was, we simply go on thinking about what we were thinking until our thoughts wander. The more frequently it occurs that we cannot decide on something, the further we get lost in our thoughts.

On the other hand, indecisiveness may also be linked to philosophical abilities, since people who are indecisive about what to do may also be unable to decide on what to think, allowing them to keep their mind open to possibilities.

Another phenomenon where indecisiveness can lead to anxiety is in an undesirable situation which may or may not be changed. The mind cannot relax and accept the situation before it knows that it will not change it, as it otherwise wishes to seek a way to change it. However, it may be difficult to change the situation, which may lead to indecision whether or not to change it. To make matters worse, to change the situation one may have to sacrifice something else, further making the decision harder. As long as this has not been decided on, the mind will remain in a state where it sees the given situation as something it wishes to change, and therefore it will become more frustrating. As long as the mind thinks of changing the situation, it cannot accept it. However, someone who is indecisive may also be indecisive about whether or not to even think of changing the situation or accept it.

In addition, indecisiveness is also likely to generally slow people down in everything they do, as they spend a large portion of their time deciding what to do, so that, in this way, indecision may significantly make their lives less fulfilling and more frustrating.

Many people may be faced with indecision now and then, but for some people, this may become so frequent that a chronic sense of uncertainty settles in their minds. If this problem becomes severe, these people may eventually develop depression. It has indeed been observed that in depressed people, the prefrontal cortex, the brain's decision center, is hypoactive, which is one of the most characteristic signs of depression. Perhaps indecision is not just a symptom but also a cause or contributing factor of depression, though it is certainly not the only one. Either how, it seems clear that people who are indecisive run a higher risk of developing depression at some point in their lives.

1) Experience (Input)

Be lovingly, curiously, intriguedly aware of your current experiences;

Be thankful for them, knowing that they might as well not be there, that they will not last, and that they are unique for every moment, and beautiful in that unicity;

Perceive all things as being novel and impossibly, paradoxically wonderful in the fact of their existence;

Perceive all things as though they were living beings, and lovingly interact with them, while forgiving them for any disharmony felt with it.

Take a walk, remembering to be fully anchored in one's experiences;

Say to yourself repeatedly "I live" whenever you find yourself slipping into unconsciousness, and set your determination to stay firmly in your experience;

Meditate, focussing on absolutely everything you experience, and let the experiences come to you rather than seeking out the experience;

Repudiate judgmental thoughts.

2) Imagination (Processing)

Perceive the world as being a dream, and as such part of oneself over which one has full control;

Trust that everything that happens has a meaning and reason, and perceive them as being part of a design;

Feel the infinite love of the universe;

Ask for whatever you want, trust you will get it in time, and wait for it, as on a parcel;

Feel a connection with the earth (yang) which keeps you firm, and a connection with the sky (yin) which keeps you open-minded;

Imagine whatever you dream of, or whatever would make you feel happy, as vividly as possible.

Whenever you catch yourself in an unpleasant daydream, mend whatever has happened in the daydream, and make it become as positive as possible.

3) Activity (Output)

Do whatever you feel like doing, without thinking about it whatsoever;

Always keep busy with at least one thing (even if it's just experiencing in some way, as long as you commit yourself to doing so wholeheartedly);

Take a walk or engage in other kinds of exercise, remembering to remain aware of doing so every moment;

Review your past achievements, and compare them as a proof of your progress so as to gain confidence and motivation;

After having accomplished something, spend some time contemplating it, either to figure out what you need to work on, or to reinforce your self-esteem;

Experiment and playfully try new things.

Ensure that in your winters you will retain as much yang as possible to complete the yin of winter, but also accept the yin it brings; meanwhile, ensure that in your summers you will retain as much yin as possible to compensate the yang of summer, but also accept the yang it will bring. Remedy not what there is too much but what there is too little.

Neither resist nor cling to either sadness nor joy, for both will become both harmful when and only when we do so. Know when either comes among the other, for then it is time to become mindful of it; if you ignore it, it will eventually seize control over you. Instead, we should just let them be what they are when they come, and love them as part of our experience with neither fear nor craving.

Our emotions are a compass for what we should do; we should therefore listen to that compass. We must know when we feel negative energy that it is time to rest, and we must know when we feel positive energy that it is time to work. If we do not do so in time, the transition will become painful.

This is especially important to people who are bipolar. Bipolar people are in pain because out of craving they cling to their (hypo)mania so long that when they finally face their depression, it is painful. Eventually, when they've accepted their negative energies, the depression then assumes the form of a deep peace. Out of fear, they then cling to the tranquility of their depression so long that it eventually becomes painful again when they face their hypomania. When they've then accepted their positive energies, their hypomania then assumes the form of a deep happiness. Then, the cycle begins anew. In fact, neither depression nor (hypo)mania have to be painful, as they are just periods of inactivity and activity, respectively. Only the transition can be painful if it is resisted.

All of us have such a cycle, although for the average human, it is less significant. Because of this, the bipolar cycle can be a useful model to understand the average human's emotional cycles as well.

When in times of hardship you are numbed with pain and feel that you have lost all feelings, remember that they are still nonetheless still htere, even if they are hidden in your unconscious mind. All you need to do is to find them again. Acknowledge that they are still there, even if you cannot feel them, and they will bit by bit return. Just saying to yourself how you think you would feel in a moment as is present, and describing how the feeling would be like, can help a great deal to become aware of your emotions again. Just imagine how an emotion would feel like, imagine it as vividly as possible, and it will become real.

See depression as a tunnel: usually it is healed by going back out of the tunnel the way one came in - but one may also heal by going all the way through it. The former may be the case when the person does not fully lose, the latter when he or she has lost all hope. The strange thing is that depression may heal itself: the chronic stress of depression causes a process of desensitization which eventually may cause it to destroy itself.

Depression usually starts with fear or stress. Fear is often still prominent through later stages, but it is usually worse in the beginning. Later, the chronic stress of this fear causes a desensitization, and the person becomes resigned to his situation. At this point fear turns into despair. Despair is actually less distressing than fear, so that the person will often try to remain in despair, leading to unreasonable negativism. This negativism is a subconscious method of the person to blunt his own emotionality further and further, as it makes them stop caring: they give up.
Eventually, if their depression lasts long enough, the person's affect will become even more blunted so that the person feels empty. Emptiness may in itself be quite distressing: it may be compared to feeling as if one can't breathe. If this distress is severe enough, the person may become totally numb so that even the distress about "not feeling anything" (except for feeling that one doesn't feel anything) falls away.
Here the person comes to a crossroads. If his condition is severe enough and he has a diathesis for it, the chronic stress he has suffered may cause the person to become schizoid. However, this is rare; there is a second possibility.
Because the person at this point no longer feels any distress, it may have made place for positive emotions, just as the ice in spring makes place for flowers to grow. At this point the person may heal, and the numbness then turns into a kind of peace: the person is relieved to no longer feel anything, and becomes content with it.

To struggle against pain can feel like pulling a barbed arrow out of one's abdomen: it becomes so stuck in oneself that it becomes part of oneself, of one's personality, and it will stand up for itself as the whole of your personality would. One has become so used to it that one doesn't want to part with it - for it is all one has, and it offers one safety from the treacherous rises and falls of fate.